Why I Hate 50 Shades.

“Clarissa, why do you hate Fifty Shades of Grey?”


My friends have asked me this more than once and I suppose it’s time I address it attumblr_inline_ndnmdhwpvp1rpogym length, rather than sounding like an old biddy. First off, I hate it because the writing is godawful. The trope of “falling in love with your bully” is overused. I was bullied incessantly as a kid. Let me tell you something, I would never in a million years want to get together with someone who made me feel my value was nothing. I don’t know about you guys, but that’s definitely a ‘no’ in my book. I think it’s an overused trope.

Anyway…here are some gems. Some are laughably bad, others are just cringeworthy.


“His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel … or something.”
(Or something, lol.)

“And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain — probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata near where my subconscious dwells — comes the thought: He’s here to see you.”

“My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like a five year old.”

“My inner goddess is beside herself, hopping from foot to foot. Anticipation hangs heavy and portentous over my head like a dark tropical storm cloud. Butterflies flood my belly – as well as a darker, carnal, captivating ache as I try to imagine what he will do to me. … And of course, I have to sign that damned contract. Or do I?”

“I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored Popsicle. I suck harder and harder. … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”
(Err…how sexy?)

Christian: “Dr. Green is coming to sort you out…”
Ana: “Why?”
Christian: “Because I hate condoms …”
Ana: “It’s my body.”
Christian: “It’s mine, too.”

“He’s said such loving things today … But how long will he want to do this without wanting to beat the crap out of me.”
(Romance at its finest.)

“Sitting beside me, he gently pulls my sweatpants down again. Up and down like whores.”
(Say what?) 


(Click to enlarge the images.)


Second. Ana.

Dude, there’s so little description of her. How is anyone supposed to connect with her if they don’t quite grasp who she is? Beyond someone who listens to her ‘inner goddess’ and is generally awkward and gawky. Ana is made to look like an airhead. She isn’t given a good physical description, she’s namby-pamby. Ana is a Mary Sue.

She also believes she can “save” Christian from his being “fifty-shades of fucked up”. No, honey. At what cost? To your own dignity? It isn’t worth it. The only one who can fix him is himself and a lot of therapy. Learn your value.


Third: Christian Grey.

I don’t get the hype. I don’t find him or his behavior sexy. He stalks Ana; he literally tracks her cell phone and does it more than once. He also does a background check on her; her a girl who was just doing an article on him for her college newspaper. Let’s go on. He tries to control how she learns about things; seriously, she’s limited to Wikipedia for BDSM info. He blames her if things go wrong–like, man up dude, accept that you screw up too. If Ana is near another dude? Christian loses his ever-loving mind. He gets ridiculously angry. He tries to control what she eats, who she sees and where she goes. Yeah, totally sexy. And let’s not talk about how he tries to bribe her and manipulates her.

That’s romance.

Now, before someone says, “well, she signed a contract.” No, he was doing that pre-contract.

Also, there have been instances where Ana has used the safe word or said ‘no!’ and Christian continues anyway.

Ladies, that isn’t love. That’s rape.


If you find yourself in an abusive situation, ladies and gents, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or try to visit a site to get information. There are ways out. You are a beautiful, wonderful person. Don’t ever let someone make you feel less than what you are. You deserve the best. To have something like this glamorize the terror you endure is disgusting.

You are not alone. You don’t need to endure someone’s abuse. There are ways out. Maybe that person does love you, but love equals respect. Don’t let anyone disrespect you.

And this is just another reason why I hate Fifty Shades; it glamorizes a dark reality. Let’s be real, if Christian was broke, he’d be on Criminal Minds. (I saw that quote somewhere and it was perfect.) There is nothing sexy about this. Be brave, keep fighting and reject anyone who makes you feel worthless. No person is worth that pain. xx

34 thoughts on “Why I Hate 50 Shades.”

      1. I completely agreed with every point you are making from what I know about the story line. There is one half way decent thing that franchise did…people were reading that never really were readers. I like to call that the Twilight effect. But that is the only redeeming quality I can give it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. To think…this started as Twilight fan fic! :O I’m glad more people read, but I wish they’d read better things. But, baby steps, I suppose.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. This is without a doubt the best review of this book and it’s themes I have had the privilege to read. Thank you for writing this.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This, this, this, and this. It’s so infuriating to me that people buy this crap. The god-awful writing was bad enough, but the abuse is unforgivable. I’m so sick of women trying to convince me these books are romantic. It’s disgusting.

    Thank you for writing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If he was poor, he’d be a character in a Criminal Minds episode. Lol. I don’t know who originally said that but they’re right.

      If you watch This Is Us, I want a man like Jack Pearson. Caring, hard working, personable, flawed but working on himself.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve never read it, nor do i plan to… not only because of the theme, but the writing is bad. I’ve seen quotes and read the first few pages in the book store and the quality of writing just irritated me to a level where i couldn’t even bother trying to find out what it’s about.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I don’t either. And even if I could see it as romantic, its written so terribly that I would still hate it. I hate admitting I’ve read the books, and not because of the sexual/”BDSM” content like most would assume. Nope, I’m ashamed to have read them for how bad they are on the most basic of levels; the writing. So many things wrong with the writing. So many repetitive words, phrases, and descriptions – I began to cringe every time I read “inner goddess” and similar ilk. It’s just bad all around.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I got through half the first one. I called quits after that. I literally couldn’t tolerate Ana and her inner goddess and Christian being an asshat. My friends were crazy for it but I am the hold out. I don’t care that Jamie Dornan is cute. (Love me an Irish brogue.) I’ll never see the movies. It’s just badly written tripe.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I borrowed the first from the library. The lady who checked me out was like, “you’re going to love it!”

        I love ripping it apart, does that count? Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahhh, this sums up everything I loathe about the premise of the book. I haven’t read it, was forced to watch the second movie by a friend and my goodness I was repulsed by it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you!!!! Finally someone who feels the same way I do. It makes me gag that people categorize 50 Shades as romantic. Seriously? I’d agree with Sadistic. But romantic? Oh, hell, no. It’s nice to find a kindred spirit 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how many people agree with me; I’m so sorry that I didn’t respond sooner. I’m usually better with that. But I don’t find it romantic. I find Christian, well, I made that clear, didn’t I? And Ana is a fool.

      You know, I don’t love Twilight. I did for a bit, but now I”m like, “Eh…” This was Twilight fan-fic to start; but I can’t imagine Edward and Bella as the base characters. Edward, though creepy in his own way, seemed to genuinely care about Bella. And Bella did come into her own eventually.

      But I am glad to meet another kindred spirit, indeed!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I totally agree with you. I’m the type who doesn’t judge people by the type of books they read. It’s a reader’s right and choice what books and genre he/she likes but I seriously don’t understand how people can find this romantic. It’s insane the amount of popularity this series has. I mean, what type of message is it sending to people? That it’s alright to be subservient like Ana and abusive like Christian? Ugh, it disgusts me. Sorry I go off in a rant when it come to 50 shades.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol. Thanks. It’s frustrating seeing people categorize this as romantic and being unable to change their minds. Even my sister finds it romantic though she’s careful not to talk about it within my vicinity. It brings to mind how the majority of people are like sheep, they just follow blindly. 😣😧😧


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s